The Role of a Father in a Child's Growing Up - Essay Example

it is the father who builds the path of success, contentment, and happiness in their daughter’s life as it is he, who gives her the confidence to survive strongly and with dignity in the male-dominated human society.

Father’s role in child development

It is a typical assumption that children become well-adjusted adults if they live with a same-sex parent as a same-sex parent becomes an appropriate role model for them (Newman and Grauerholz 465). This assumption is strengthened with research by Hosley and Montemayor (1997), who found that fathers have less contact with their daughters and engage more in activities of their sons (Lamb and Lewis 290). Larsen and Richards (1994) found that due to the communication gap with fathers, daughters remain uninfluenced by them while sons are influenced a lot (Lamb and Lewis 290). However, a review of literature on child psychopathology by Phares (1997) revealed that even though fathers do not interact with their children as much as mothers, they still have a powerful indirect and direct impact on the social and emotional adjustments of children (Lamb and Lewis 290). This shows that fathers play an important role in the development of both, the male and the female child. However, when one goes deeper into the ‘role of parents’ literature, one finds that even though fathers play an important role in the development of growing children, their role is more crucial in the lives of daughters. 

Father’s role in daughter’s life

In their ‘same-sex preference’ research of 2433 teenagers living with a single parent, sociologists Brian Powell and Douglas Downey (1997) revealed that there is no base to the assumption that the same-sex parent is better as they are better suited to become appropriate role models (Newman and Grauerholz 465). In fact, they found that the chances of teenage girls becoming pregnant are more when they live with their mothers (Newman and Grauerholz 465). This proves that the assumption that same-sex parents prove to be better role models for adolescents is wrong. According to Freud, daughters have an unconscious desire for their fathers and in order to resolve the conflict of the internal desire, they identify with the mother’s feminine qualities and model her (Sigelman and Rider 353). This shows that the daughter’s modeling of the mother is not ‘natural’ but is an attempt to impress her father and to win his appreciation. In this way, it is the father who reinforces the feminine behavior in his daughter (Sigelman and Rider 353). According to Parke (1996), Freud’s notion that the father makes an important contribution in the development of the gender-based role in daughters is confirmed (Sigelman and Rider 353).

Also, acceptance and encouragement by the father play a crucial role in the healthy development of daughters. Sons do not depend on fathers to develop their masculine identity. They find the masculine identity through competitive achievement and acceptance by the male group (male friends, peers, etc.) (Kohlberg 163). However, daughters gain confidence and strength in their feminine identity only when they are accepted and approved by males (Kohlberg 163). 

As the father is the first male in the daughter’s life, the foundation of her future male-female relationship is based on her relationship with her father (Shearin Karres 165). This shows that more than sons, daughters depend on their fathers for healthy development as they confidently identify with their sex roles only when they get approval from their fathers (Kohlberg 163). Not only that but the daughter’s confidence, self-esteem, and emotional development also depend on her father’s role in her life (Kohlberg 163). Sopchak (1952) has found that when fathers approve and reinforce the feminine qualities in daughters, it impacts the daughters’ lives very positively (Kohlberg 163). Even though fathers are not comfortable in communicating with their daughters openly, they understand the difficulties in daughters’ lives and always try to make their life easy. The following lines from Wilbur’s poem describe the silent connection between father and daughter very lucidly:

            Young as she is, the stuff

            Of her life is a great cargo, and some of it heavy:

             I wish her a lucky passage (Bascove 65)

Conclusion

            The above discussion shows how fathers play a crucial role in the overall development of their daughters. The daughter’s approach towards males in her life depends on her relationship with her father. If the daughter gets approval from her father and has a healthy relationship with him, then she develops a healthy and confident relationship with males in her adulthood. Otherwise, she struggles to maintain relationships in both, her personal and professional life. Hence, it is the father who builds the path of success, contentment, and happiness in the daughter’s life as it is he, who gives her the confidence to survive strongly and with dignity in the male-dominated human society.