Facts Related to the Relationships of Siblings in Light of Authentic Theories - Coursework Example

Sibling Relationships Siblings Relationships Introduction In this argumentative paper,the issues and facts related to the relationships of the siblings in the light of authentic theories given years ago by the theorists after research and study over the issues and their outcomes are discussed. The studies and questioning based on a common but important topic such as this one is of a great importance and gives no spaces for the doubts that the theorists and researchers shared their thoughts and opinions over it. Moreover, the critique is made over the topics, issues and their solutions presented within the theories that are mentioned in this paper. The paper aims to present a discussion over the concepts related to the issues, their outcomes and suggest solutions accordingly. The discussion is made on the siblings’ rivalry that is a normal part of siblings’ relationship in families, under the light of the Sigmund Freud’s theory of “sibling rivalry” and on the topic of Birth order among the siblings, in relation to Alfred Adler’s theory. There is a discussion and critique made on the theories related to the topics and present the ideas and suggestions with my understanding of the studies and concepts presented over the topics mentioned in this paper. Siblings Rivalry Sigmund Freud, one of the most-influential thinkers of 20th century, was the pioneer of the ‘sibling rivalry theory’ which began in 1949. He proposed that the element of rivalry plays an essential role in the personality developments in future, of an individual. Freud’s theory relates the love of parents monopolized by the younger siblings. It is based on his experience and memories from childhood as he remembered about his jealousy for the newly born younger brother. The studies show that the competitive relationship between the siblings begins because the child can observe the difference in treatment between himself and a sibling by parents. This becomes critical when a child is younger and immature because it is difficult to understand the need for care and attention of parents, given to the newborn sibling. According to the Freud’s studies, it is shown that the greatest rivalry takes place between the male siblings or brothers as compared to the rivalry found between sisters. There are chances for exceptions to this concept because rivalry may be found equally in the brother-sister and sister-sister relationship. The rivalry between siblings provokes as there is encouragement for competition from parents or society. Parents unintentionally neglect the importance of treating children equitably in their busy life, outcomes of which results in a huge gap between siblings’ relations that cannot be covered the overtime. Parents’ likeness or preference comparatively more towards any one child gives rise to the rivalry in siblings and leaves another child with low self-esteem. The child feels rejected, and the other child feels superior as he successfully controls the mother or father, or both. Birth Order of Siblings Alfred Adler was the doctor and psychologist by profession. He is the pioneer of the study of relationships between an individual’s personality and his birth order in the family. The birth order has effects on the psychology and personality of a person, and this assertion has been challenged by the researchers over time. Adler believed that the birth order leaves an irresistible impression on the personality and psychology of a person. It also has to do much with the dethronement in a family among siblings, which takes place when a new child or sibling comes in their lives then parents’ love and attention are diverted from the elder child to a new or younger child. The birth order effects also include the influence of spacing in years between the births of siblings in a family. If therere many gaps in the ages of siblings, there is more influence of the birth order on their personalities. The siblings’ birth order is divided into three parts by Alfred, 1. First-Born Children 2. Second and Middle Children 3. Youngest and only Children. It is, in fact, true and worldwide a common and natural practice in every family that the first child is given all the love and treated with care but only until the second child arrives, after which the first child is left with the feeling of inferiority. The first child questions his importance and tries to seek attention desperately. Such experiences have impacts on the later personality of the individual. The problem increases over time with the first child as they get old. Their personality traits get deeper, and the issues due to traits become irresolvable. They find themselves vulnerable to the world, and they always look for protection from any relation. The middle-born children are not much spoiled or pampered as the first child, that why it’s not very difficult for them to accept their siblings and share their parents’ love. They don’t have difficulties building good relationships with their siblings and they do not bother to be egoistic when it comes to adjustments as they are the most-diplomatic family members. The youngest child in the family is the most pampered and spoiled, like the first born. The youngest child is more likely to have problems later in life because of the personality traits built in because of the extreme support, love and attention of the whole family especially of parents, which they get habitual of. Despite all the benefits the youngest children have, they grow up with a feeling of inferiority as they realize that they are the members of a family who have the least amount of power and freedom as compared to their elder siblings who have more freedom and superiority. That is why the youngest siblings are more vulnerable to the personality traits if they are left with the feeling of inferiority and dependence for the rest of the life. Another factor involved in the birth order influences on personality, is the total number of children and their birth order. The theory presented by the Alfred about the birth order of siblings is still debated and is being researched over repeatedly. Modifications and Amendments in Theories However, many theories concerning siblings’ relationships in the family and there regarding issues have been proposed. But, with the pace of time, many modifications have been made in the account, and there are still many amendments that have to be made in regards. Although, Alfred Adler’s piece of thought was far different and modified in contrast to Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud because he initially laid upon the concept of birth order influence on the personality of a human being. With the pace of time, Alfred Adler’s theories regarding birth order influences on personality became more controversial issue in the world of psychology. Many psychologists from all round the world disputed over Alfred Adler’s theory and in result the new-modern theory of personality came into exist that is also known as Big Five Personality Traits. These personality traits are five key elements of the personality that has an eminent impact on a person due to their birth order that includes Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism. According to the psychologists, the modern approaches in the field of psychology effectively refers that birth order of the child significantly influences these five core personality traits of the person that also act as the building block of their personality. The research of this theory began in 1949 by D.W Fiske, but afterwards, it became expanded by different another researcher in different eras, such as by Norman and Smith in 1967, then Goldberg carried it on 1981 and afterwards in 1987 McCrae and Costa played their efforts in regards. These big five traits are as follows: Extroversion Extraversion refers with person’s engagement with the siblings, family or the external world. It further includes different characteristics such as sociability, excitability, boldness, fluency and person’s way of expressing emotions. Basically, extroverts are the people those are more outgoing, positive and full of energy. These people are supposed to be more action oriented and more passionate unlike introverts who use to be more conserved and less sociable. In contrast to extroverts, introverts depict the lack of energy, enthusiasm and the level of activity in comparison with extroverts. They often possess less social involvement and need less stimulation. It is one of the basic traits that are the part of personality whether the person is the sibling or the only child. Agreeableness Agreeableness concerns with the difference of opinion and the way of thinking of the individual that also interrelate with social harmony and mutuality. It can be referred as getting along with the other person such as siblings or the society. Agreeable people often depict the prominent categories such as they are more trustworthy, decent and honest. During the disagreeable people usually, the most self-obsessed and they always give priority to their personal interest over other individuals or their siblings (Leman, 2009). Conscientiousness It is the way that how person controls his impulse. The people who are conscientious often achieve huge success along with less trouble as they use to be known for their intelligence, mindfulness and reliability among their family or the society. Neuroticism Neuroticism is the trait because of which person tends to be more emotionally unstable, moody and likely more easy to be sad or irritated that brings a significant impact on their relationship with their siblings, family and the outer world. Openness It refers with experiencing more dimensions. Those people who are more open to experience new thing are probable to be more creative and imaginative in contrast to other individuals of the society that use to be an eminent aspect of person’s personality among the siblings or the other individuals of the society. Although it can be said that the birth order of a child always influences child’s personality in certain parameters, specifically by mean of these five key traits of his personality. According to Frank Sulloway, as he written in his book ‘Born to Rebel’ which affirms the magnificent impact of the birth order on the Five Personality Traits. He further discussed the characteristics of the first born child who is more expected to be sociable and conscientious. He often argued that the firstborns use to be more conservative in term of experiencing innovations and creativity, and they also find disagreement in sharing the same ideology as others significantly with their siblings. Afterwards, Frank Sulloway’s theory was criticized by Fred Townsend, Judith Rich Harris and Toni Falbo. Another author also proposed their point of view regarding birth order and its impact on the personality. Michael E. Lamb and Brian Sutton Smith shared their piece of thought in their book ‘Sibling Relationship’ argued that these personality traits last for an entire life span of a person. It also has been argued that the development and improvement of person’s personality prolong for the entire lifetime by maintaining and adjusting the several demand of society while socializing. The main theme of the book was that, the impacts of the birth order or the relation of the firstborn with siblings can be replaced, eliminated or undergo a change over time along with later on experiences. With an array of research, it has been observed that, it is not only the birth order that manipulates the personality of a person, but there is a variety of other dominant factors that affect the personality such as demography and the social status of the family. One of the vital elements of the firstborn child that Alfred did not discuss in his theory which later on proposed by Robert Zajonc that, firstborns are often found to be more intelligent than other siblings because they observe more adult influences in their early age around their selves. Apart from the birth personality traits and birth order influences, there is another key factor that affects sibling’s relationship that is Sibling Rivalry. Although, according to Alfred Adler, only birth order affects the personality development which was disputed by the number of psychologists. According to the psychologists, age, gender constellation and parents also influence play a vital role in the sibling relationship. However, birth order and rivalry consequence among siblings can be reduced or prevented by different methods such as; parents can minimize the sense of rivalry and competition among the children by avoiding the comparison between them. It can also be reduced with practicing more family environment and by being more cooperative with children. Parents should pay attention to their children’s behavior and reaction over the certain situation in that way they can get involved or intervene before the situation turns into worst. Parent should also give all of their children equal priority and time to make them feel like a special and important part of the family. Parents can also guide their kid to resolute their fight in a peaceful way by not hurting each other physically or morally. Another preventive measure can be taken by the parents by teaching them that we cannot hurt those whom we love as everyone knows that children are immature as they will learn that what impression their parents give them. Parents should teach their children the better and positive ways to gain their attention regardless aggressive attention seeking strategies. Because children find their parents as their role models so that they can provide them with good behavioral aspects by being equally kind, helpful and friendly with all of their children. In this way, rivalry can be prevented in between the siblings that can influence negatively on the personality of the child in his later on life. Conclusion After going through the researches and theories, it came to my understanding that the relationship of siblings comprises of many strong elements and is easily influenced by many factors. The fact that the topic seems common but still it is of a great importance as it was discussed by some very influential thinkers of old times and is still studied and argued over in many aspects, repeatedly. A feeling of being deprived and jealousy for siblings arises in the individual that promotes rivalry in siblings. The development of a person’s personality is influenced while facing such issues in the family, and he tries to seek parents’ attention and takeover all the siblings who he thinks as superior for instance. The theory of rivalry in siblings was introduced by Freud in 1949 which was later on argued over by Alfred Adler and modified. It has been studied, researched discussed and amended by many theorists and researchers. Alfred suggested that the rivalry has much to do with the ‘dethronement’ as parents neglect first child on arrival of a new child. Another important factor that intervenes the relationship of siblings, more often negatively is their birth order in the family. It was suggested by Adler that the birth order affects the personality of the person as he/ she is brought up and treated accordingly, and it influences them for the rest of the life. To simplify this theory, Adler explains that the eldest sibling or the first child is the most loved, pampered and care, that is why it gets more difficult for them to accept a sibling and share parents’ love. Hence, they feel deprived and unimportant. The middle child is not given as much love and attention as the first child, therefore, it is not very difficult for him to compromise over parents’ love. He/ she are not habitual of much importance and have more flexibility. The youngest child is again the most pampered and spoiled child in the family, but the issues with them include their lack of authority and freedom as compared to the elder siblings. This theory was also modified by many theorists as they added that the personality of a person is not only affected by his birth order, but the demographic and social status of the family also plays a role in the development of personality. In the regards of arguments over the birth, order influences theory, and another theory was proposed known as the Big Five Personality Traits which are Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism. To eliminate such issues among the siblings, parents can play an essential role by a proper counseling of children. Parents should treat children equitably and should not show likeness or preference towards one child that provokes jealousy and affects self-esteem of the child. The bonding between each child and parents should be strong, and the same applies for the siblings. The sibling should be appreciated to understand each other’s need for parents’ attention and care and co-operate with each other to keep their bonding strong.   Works Cited Leman, K. (2009). The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are. U.S.A: Revell. Read More